We’ve all been there. Late night. Cold as a witch’s tomb. Deep within the catacombs of the Datacenter. You hear a loud noise and are relieved when it turns out to be a demonic entity from an alternate plane of existence forcing itself into our world and not something genuinely frightening like a RAID enclosure seizing up or a rack toppling over.
But this can only mean one thing: it’s Halloween and here you are without a costume. Varonis is here to help with some last minute costume ideas for the IT professional.
1. Locky Ransomware
Great art comes from a place deep within, just like when in the cinematic tour de force “Suicide Squad”, Jared Leto brought the crazy energy of the Joker to life by leaving dead rats around the set and plotting future visits to Hot Topic to flesh out his character.
- Combination Locks
- Bike Chains
- Mirror (to practice saying: “Yeah! Yeah! Super Weird! Who Would Do Such A Thing!” without flop sweating in).
Method act your way into being the Locky Ransomware Virus by chaining shut file cabinets, the office fridge and the “good” office bathroom (You know the one? One floor down on the level where sales used to be?).
Be sure to leave a Post It at each location stating that you’ll remove the locks once .2 BTC is deposited in your wallet.
2. Blad the Crimper
Cruelly overlooked by history and eclipsed by his more famous cousin (Vlad the Impaler). Blad is fighting against a society that won’t let him create cables the length that he wants and he’ll stop at nothing to make that happen.
- Crimping Tool
- Dictionary to prove to people that you didn’t just make up the word “crimping”
3. Help Desk Ticket
If it’s one thing that endears you to your co-workers, it’s your insistence on having a help desk ticket for every: “I’ve just got a quick question? Ever since I installed this Free Online Poker website my ‘e’ key doesn’t work. Can you look at why Word won’t print right since the last time you helped me?” that they corner you with.
Bend the poster board around until it makes a cylinder and staple it in place. Use the markers to draw a happy face on it. Place over your head and contemplate why you didn’t go into a less stressful profession like heart surgeon or something.
4. Data Retention Policy
Halloween is a fun time, but it’s also an opportunity to help educate your co-workers on your Data Retention Policy and basic digital security measures.
- A paper shredder
- The longest extension cord you can find.
Wander around the office (shredder in tow) removing papers from people’s desks and and turning them into meaningless scraps. Be sure to hit the bulletin board in the lunchroom that’s still cluttered with take out menus from 3 years ago.
If anyone asks why you’re doing this, tell them that they’re part of the problem and if they’d just manage their own files, this wouldn’t be necessary.
5. GDPR: General Data Protection Regulation
Everyone loves a good scare and what’s more frightening than a shadowy group of faceless EU bureaucrats taking 4% of your company’s global revenue because you neglected to purge a server of some old files.
- Hans Gruber’s Accent from Die Hard
- Any countdown app for your smartphone
Set the app to countdown to 25 May 2018
Hold it on your forehead “Heads Up” style.
Walk around the Halloween party asking people to divulge everything they know about you under penalty of law.